Beagle Bros Secret Programming Tips

approximately two cups of coffee

Beagle Bros had a practice of printing programming tips on the inside of their software boxes — knowledge you’d only encounter if you’d already bought the thing, tucked in beside the manual like a secret handshake. These tips were arcane and specific: memory addresses, CHR$ codes, PEEK and POKE incantations that would do something strange to your screen or speaker. They assumed you were curious enough to try them.

There’s a form of closure in this document. The Apple II is long gone. Applesoft BASIC is not a living language. But this collection preserves the shape of that knowledge — the way tips were formatted, the humor in the annotations, the diagram of a plot command on graph paper, the program that flashes “BEAGLE BROS RULES!” five times and beeps. The bonus tip at the end gets it exactly right: the real magic was never in the code. It was in the community of curious people who shared it. That’s what closure looks like when it’s done well — not erasure, but transmission. Recovered from archives; originally created as a tribute to the Beagle Bros tradition of sharing knowledge freely.

╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
║                    BEAGLE BROS SECRET PROGRAMMING TIPS                   ║
║                         (ASCII Edition - 2026)                          ║
╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝

TIP #1: THE MYSTERIOUS AMPERSAND
===============================
                    &
                   /|\  <- This little guy can call
                  / | \    machine language routines!
                 /  |  \
               USR(0)   Example: & "HELLO"
                        calls ML routine at "HELLO"

TIP #2: PEEK AND POKE MAGIC LOCATIONS
====================================
        ┌─────────────┐
        │  PEEK(49152)│  <- Check if key pressed
        │  POKE 34,4  │  <- Move text window
        │  PEEK(-16384)│ <- Read keyboard (weird!)
        │  POKE 768,X │  <- Store bytes in page 3
        └─────────────┘
           ▲ ▲ ▲ ▲
        MAGIC NUMBERS!

TIP #3: HIDDEN GRAPHICS CHARACTERS
=================================
                ╔══════════════════════════╗
                ║ PRINT CHR$(1) to CHR$(31)║
                ║    draws weird shapes!    ║  <- Try it!
                ║                          ║
                ║ CHR$(7) = BEEP!          ║
                ║ CHR$(8) = BACKSPACE      ║
                ║ CHR$(13) = CARRIAGE RETURN║
                ╚══════════════════════════╝

TIP #4: THE AMAZING PLOT COMMAND
===============================
         Y
         ^
         |
      20 +     * (PLOT 15,20)
         |    /|\
      10 +     |
         |     |
       0 +-----+-----+-----+------> X
         0    10    20    30    40

      HGR: HPLOT 0,0 TO 279,159
      Instant diagonal line!

TIP #5: SOUND WITHOUT &$^@! NOISE
=================================
        ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
       FOR I=1 TO 100
       PRINT CHR$(7);     <- BEEP!
       FOR J=1 TO I*10
       NEXT J, I

       OR: POKE 768,173: POKE 769,48: POKE 770,192
           CALL 768       <- Direct speaker control!

TIP #6: THE SECRET & COMMAND
===========================
      ┌─────────────────────────────┐
      │  & "CATALOG D2"             │  <- DOS commands
      │  & "RUN HELLO"              │     from BASIC!
      │  & "BSAVE PIC,A$2000,L$2000"│
      └─────────────────────────────┘
                    ▲ ▲ ▲
             ULTIMATE POWER!

TIP #7: RANDOM REVELATIONS
=========================
               ┌─────┐
               │ RND │  <- Always give same sequence
               │ (1) │     unless you randomize!
               └─────┘
                  ▼
         X = RND(-TIME): REM True randomization
         Based on current time! Genius!

TIP #8: STRING SLICE & DICE
==========================
        "BEAGLE BROS SOFTWARE"
         ↑     ↑    ↑
         1     8    14

       LEFT$("BEAGLE BROS",6) = "BEAGLE"
       MID$("BEAGLE BROS",8,4) = "BROS"
       RIGHT$("BEAGLE BROS",4) = "BROS"

       ┌──────────────────────────────┐
       │ A$ = "HELLO": B$ = "WORLD"   │
       │ PRINT A$ + " " + B$          │  <- Concatenation!
       └──────────────────────────────┘

TIP #9: THE MYSTICAL DATA STATEMENT
==================================
        DATA 1,2,3,4,5,HELLO,WORLD
           ▲ ▲ ▲ ▲ ▲ ▲     ▲
           │ │ │ │ │ │     └─ Strings OK!
           │ │ │ │ │ └─ Numbers
           │ │ │ │ └─ Mixed
           │ │ │ └─ Data
           │ │ └─ Types
           │ └─ Welcome!
           └─ All

        READ X,Y,Z,A$: REM Grab 'em!
        RESTORE: REM Start over from beginning

TIP #10: THE ULTIMATE BEAGLE BROS PROGRAM
========================================
        10 HOME: REM CLEAR SCREEN
        20 PRINT TAB(15)"BEAGLE BROS"
        30 PRINT TAB(17)"RULES!"
        40 FOR I = 1 TO 5
        50 FOR C = 1 TO 255: POKE -16336,0: NEXT C
        60 FOR C = 1 TO 255: POKE -16336,128: NEXT C
        70 NEXT I: REM FLASH DISPLAY 5 TIMES
        80 PRINT CHR$(7): REM BEEP!
        90 PRINT "PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE"
        100 GET A$: IF A$ = "" THEN 100
        110 END

╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
║                             BONUS TIP:                                  ║
║                                                                          ║
║  The real magic wasn't in the code... it was in the community           ║
║  of curious hackers who shared tips, traded disks, and pushed           ║
║  their Apple II computers to do impossible things!                      ║
║                                                                          ║
║                    Keep the Beagle Spirit alive!                        ║
╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝

                           .-""""""-.
                         .'          '.
                        /   O      O   \
                       :           `    :
                       |                |
                       :    \______/    :      WOOF! MORE TIPS
                        \              /       COMING SOON!
                         '.          .'
                           '-.......-'

                      THE BEAGLE BROS LEGACY
                         LIVES ON FOREVER!

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"Remember: In BASIC, as in life, GOTO is not always the answer...
 but sometimes it's exactly what you need!"
                                              - Bert Kersey (probably)
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